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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28943736">it is not good for man to be alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallynoonecares/pseuds/literallynoonecares'>literallynoonecares</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Based on Shiva Baby (2020), Ben is Married and Has a Child, Bisexual Rey (Star Wars), Cheating, Cunnilingus, F/M, Infidelity, Praise Kink, Rey Does Not Know That, Rey is a Kenobi (Star Wars), Shiva - Freeform, Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:21:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28943736</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallynoonecares/pseuds/literallynoonecares</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rey's parents drag her to a shiva she expects her ex-girlfriend to be there. She does <i>not</i> expect her current Sugar Daddy to be there. With his wife Rey had no idea existed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jewish Reylo Fics, Queerly Beloved Reylo Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it is not good for man to be alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>some CW notes:</p><p>this is based on the film Shiva Baby (2020) because I was inspired but I left it with a happier/open ending. enjoy. </p><p>there are multiple mentions of death/dying. </p><p>this is not ur average sugar daddy fic. it is ~*angsty~* but there is an open ending</p><p>while Ben is her Sugar Daddy Rey does NOT refer to him as daddy, she refers to him as sir. </p><p>Ben calls her good girl and baby. He comes inside her.</p><p>Ben is married to Phasma and Rey does not know that. He has a baby with his wife. Rey runs into her ex-girlfriend (Bazine) and they kiss.  </p><p>Rey's parents (Obi-Wan + Satine) are supportive of her being bi.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a Wednesday. </p><p>Rey has a routine. </p><p>She goes to her 8am class. She takes the train to her sugar daddy’s house. She fucks him. She gets paid. </p><p>She goes to the rest of her classes. </p><p>She does her homework. </p><p>She watches television. </p><p>That’s it. </p><p>She’s about to walk into her sugar daddy’s building when her actual dad calls her.  </p><p>“Dad?” Rey answers the phone. </p><p>“Hi, Rey. How’s your day?” </p><p>“It’s okay. I’m headed into a meeting,” Rey lies. </p><p>“I won’t keep you long. You’ll have to take the train out here after, though. Do you remember Maz Kanata?”</p><p>“No,” Rey answers. </p><p>She hears her dad sigh. Benjamin Kenobi remembered every single person he’d ever met and he expected his daughter to do the same. </p><p>Rey was not that kind of a person. </p><p>“She was your Hebrew school teacher’s mother. You don’t remember her from shul?” he asks.</p><p>“Oh. Sort of,” she replies, another lie. </p><p>“She died a few days ago. Shiva is tonight. You have to make an appearance. We all do,” Benjamin says.</p><p>“Fine. Okay. I’ll be there,” Rey replies. </p><p>“See you then. How’s the job search coming by the way?”</p><p>“I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”</p><p>“Good luck at your meeting!” He says before she hangs up the call.</p><p>She groans before she enters the building and waves to Peter, the doorman -- who never asks questions and who always greets her. She appreciates him. </p><p>She bites her nails as she rides up the elevator to Ben’s apartment. She does <em>not</em> want to go to this shiva. She doesn’t want everyone asking her how the job search is going. What she’s doing with her life. </p><p>And then she realizes Bazine might be there. And now she <em>definitely</em> doesn’t want to go. What could be worse than everyone she grew up with fawning over her ex-girlfriend’s accomplishments and solid job offer from Goldman Sachs when Rey is just...there?</p><p>What a nightmare. </p><p>She shakes it off before knocking on Ben’s door. She has to be happy. She has to be present. She has a part to play. She needs to be the perfect sugar baby. And truth be told, she liked escaping her real life for this. She liked this scene they crafted every week.</p><p>“Hi,” she says with the fakest smile she’s ever crafted. </p><p>“You look beautiful. How was class?” Ben asks as he lets her in the door. </p><p>“Oh, fine.”</p><p>“When do you graduate again?”</p><p>“In May,” she replies. </p><p>“Coming up quick,” he says. It’s awkward. Rey wants to scream. She wants to talk about anything else than her upcoming failure.</p><p>“Yeah,” she shrugs. </p><p>“Sorry,” he says and he clearly picks up on how uncomfortable she is, “I don’t want to stress you out.”</p><p>She hates how well he pays attention to her. </p><p>“It’s okay. I know you mean well. Unlike my family,” she jokes. </p><p>“You’ll do well. You’re smart. And beautiful,” he adds on hastily. </p><p>“Thank you, Ben.”</p><p>“Of course,” he replies. </p><p>“I have to leave early today. My parents called. I have to--“</p><p>“That’s okay. We can make do with the time we have,” he says and his eyes glance toward her breasts. She shivers.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I got you a present,” he announces. He retrieves the gift from the living room and passes her a gift bag. </p><p>“You didn’t have to,” Rey replies. </p><p>“It made me think of you.”</p><p>She opens the gift and her eyes light up.</p><p>“It’s too much, Ben.” Rey shakes her head as she places the Louis Vuitton bag on his counter. There’s a part of her that wants to say <em>it’s not enough. It’s never enough. I want more</em>. But she doesn’t. </p><p>Benjamin Kenobi and Satine Kryze taught her to be humble and kind. So she will be. Even to her sugar daddy. </p><p>Her parents would faint if they knew. </p><p>“It’s what you deserve, Rey.” He kisses the back of her neck and his hands grip her ass and squeeze. She leans into him. </p><p>“Your little ass is so perfect,” he says low and darkly.</p><p>“Mmmm.”</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about this all week. I always do,” he tells her. </p><p>“I do too,” she admits. </p><p>And she does. </p><p>It’s nice that she gets paid. It’s nice he pays her bills. </p><p>It’s also nice that he’s actually hot. </p><p>It’s also <em>very</em> nice that he’s really good in bed.</p><p>Ben leans her over the counter and flips her dress up. He rolls down her tights and underwear slowly and tantalizingly. His hands trail down her body and back up to her cunt. He spreads her legs open a bit further and holds her down with one hand. She crosses her arms and rests her head on her forearms.</p><p>“Such a good girl for me always. Such a went pussy waiting for me,” Ben murmurs against her cunt. She writhes beneath him. </p><p>“Stay still for me, baby. You can do that can’t you?” Ben asks and his voice is almost too sweetly sinister. His tongue licks up and down over her folds. She moans.</p><p>“Yes sir,” Rey replies breathlessly.</p><p>His tongue is on her clit. He circles it almost as slowly as he pulled down her tights and she fights against the urge to squirm under his touch and relieve the tension <em>f</em><em>aster</em>. But she knows that’s not what good girls do. </p><p>So she takes it. Like she should. </p><p>He’s fucking her gently with two of his fingers now as his tongue circles her clit. He pumps faster as she whines and begs for more. </p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>, Sir. Feels so good. <em>Please</em>,” she begs. </p><p>“Do you want to come, baby?”</p><p>“Please,” she whines. </p><p>“Please <em>what</em>?” He retorts, pulling out his fingers from her cunt. </p><p>“Please, Sir. Please let me come,” she begs again. </p><p>“That’s better, baby.” He slides his fingers back in and Rey gasps.</p><p>He keeps a steady pace with his fingers inside her as his tongue makes her come undone. He knows her body too well -- knows how much pressure she likes, what patterns she likes, how when he sucks <em>just right</em> she’ll come on his face.</p><p>He’s ruined her for anyone else, really. </p><p>She comes with a cry and Ben’s name on her lips as he licks her folds up and down as she squirms under his touch. </p><p>“So good for me,” he says with a light spank to her ass. </p><p>He pulls her up rather suddenly and she leans on him, still feeling lightheaded from her orgasm. </p><p>He takes her to the couch where he sheds his pants and underwear and sits down. He pats his thighs and she faces and straddles him, her knees on either side of his thighs. She sinks down onto him and they both moan as she starts fucking him in earnest. </p><p>“You look so beautiful bouncing on my cock,” he says as he squeezes her ass and slaps it.</p><p>“You feel so fucking good, Sir.”</p><p>“That’s my girl.” Ben grunts and thrusts up into her and she cries out.</p><p>“That’s it,” he encourages. </p><p>“I want you to come,” Rey says. </p><p>“Yeah?” Ben asks with a wicked grin on his face. </p><p>“Come inside me, Sir.”</p><p>She grinds down on him and he fucks her hard, chasing his release. </p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>,” he says as he finishes inside her. She leans forward and places her arms around his neck.</p><p>“I wish we could stay like this but don’t you have to go?”</p><p>She looks up and checks the time on the clock. </p><p>“Yeah, I do.”</p><p>“Better get off of me,” he says.</p><p>“I’m going to ruin the couch,” Rey insists. </p><p>“I don’t give a shit about the couch.”</p><p>“Okay,” she says as she climbs off of him, trying not to let any of his come leak out onto her. She makes her way to the bathroom and fixes her hair and eyeliner smudges. She adjusts her tights and dress before making her way back to the living room. </p><p>He locks and turns over his phone when he notices her come out of the bathroom. </p><p>He fishes out his wallet and hands her $200. He’s already paid her rent this month. This is just something <em>more.</em></p><p>“I’ll see you next week,” Ben says and kisses her cheek. </p><p>“Thanks. I’ll see you next week,” she replies and slings her purse over her shoulder as she heads out of his apartment. </p><p>▪️▪️▪️</p><p>Rey finds the most modest black dress in her closet and tosses it on. She manages to make the train with minutes to spare and heads out to the suburbs. She navigates her way to the address her mother provided her with. </p><p>She notices her mom and dad parking their car down the block and she waits for them. </p><p>“Oh there you are,” Satine exclaims.</p><p>“Hi, Mom,” Rey says as her mom pulls her into a hug. </p><p>“Pull down your dress a bit more. You know they’re conservative as hell here,” Satine says and rolls her eyes. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“And try not to rock the boat too much,” Satine warns. </p><p>“It’s a shiva, Mom. I’m not going to say anything except that I’m sorry for their loss,” Rey says. </p><p>“We’ve taught you well,” Benjamin says. </p><p>“You have.”</p><p>“How was your meeting?” Benjamin asks. </p><p>“My meeting?” Rey falters a bit and then recovers, remembering her own lie. “It was okay. I don’t know if they’ll offer me an internship.”</p><p>“Well, maybe we can talk to Han and Leia’s kid. I think his wife works in publishing,” her dad offers. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“You ready?” Satine asks. </p><p>“Yes,” Rey responds. </p><p>“Let’s go in.”</p><p>The moment Satine walks into the shiva she makes her way to the refreshment table and talks to everyone she knows. Her mom is so good at that. She knows everyone and everyone knows her. Satine could talk to <em>anyone. </em>Rey hangs back and surveys the room. </p><p>Her throat tightens when she notices her ex-girlfriend across the room surrounded by doting older women who seem to be so engaged in whatever Baz was saying.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me Bazine was going to be here,” Rey whispers under her breath to her father. </p><p>“I figured you’d have guessed that,” her dad says, “you did go to the same shul for years.”</p><p>“A little heads up would have been nice,” Rey says through gritted teeth. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he replies, “I didn’t think you two were on such bad terms.” </p><p>“We’re not really,” Rey admits.</p><p>“Then why are you upset?” He places a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.</p><p>“She’s just so much fucking better at everything. Did you hear she has a job at Goldman lined up?” Rey asks.</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“I’m always going to be compared to her,” Rey sighs. </p><p>“At least you haven’t sold your soul to Goldman,” her dad replies.</p><p>Rey laughs. </p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“You’ll get a job,” he tells her. </p><p>“I know,” Rey sighs. </p><p>“Rey Kenobi! Look at you. You have grown up so much,” an older woman says as she crosses the room to greet her.</p><p>“Amilyn Holdo,” her dad whispers to her, noting the confusion on Rey’s face. </p><p>“Hi,” Rey replies and lets the woman hug her. </p><p>“How’s college? What’s your major?” Amilyn’s face is warm and bright.</p><p>“It’s good. I’m majoring in Women’s Studies and Communications.”</p><p>Amilyn’s face drops a bit. </p><p>“Oh. Well, have you figured out what you’re doing post graduation?” She asks Rey. </p><p>“Not quite yet. I have a few different paths I’m deciding between.”</p><p>“Ah, well. Good luck with that,” Amilyn says as she looks around before getting the attention of someone across the room. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”</p><p>“Of course,” Rey smiles. Always polite. </p><p>“Let’s go get a bagel and lox,” her dad says. </p><p>He guides her to the refreshment table and they both spend the next half hour engaged in discussion with various people. Rey hates it, but she puts on a face and feels satisfied when her mom gives her an approving glance. </p><p>And then she almost drops the bagel in her hand. </p><p>Because Ben walks through the door. </p><p>Her<em> sugar daddy.</em></p><p>Fuck. </p><p>She stares at him. She can’t fucking help it. Of all the shivas in all the greater Coruscant area, he has to be at this one. She didn’t even know he was Jewish. </p><p>And now she’s fucked. </p><p>She thinks the room starts to spin when she realizes her father has gone over to talk to him and embraces him like he’s known him forever. </p><p>She must be too obvious about the staring because her mother leans in close and tells her it’s Ben Solo, Leia and Han’s son. </p><p>The one with the wife who works in publishing. </p><p>Rey thinks she might throw up.</p><p>Her father gestures for them to join and Rey notices Ben stare at her. </p><p>He tries to hide it but he’s as good of an actor as she is. </p><p>“Ben, this is my daughter Rey. And of course you know Satine,” her dad announces. </p><p>Satine hugs Ben and kisses him on the cheek. </p><p>“Hi, Ben,” Rey says and it’s too familiar. She regrets it immediately. </p><p>“Do you two know each other?” Satine questions. </p><p>Ben opens his mouth to say something but Rey covers quickly. </p><p>“I’ve gone to services in the city a few times. He was there,” Rey lies cooly. </p><p>“I’m surprised you’ve even gone to services once,” her father says. </p><p>“I go sometimes,” she says defensively. </p><p>“Ben is <em>named</em> after me. That’s how much Han and Leia loved me,” her father says with a smile.</p><p>“And you’re always insufferable about it. It’s so good to see you, Ben. Glad Gwen got you to move back out to this coast,” Satine says. </p><p>“I know, she’s pushed for it for a while. Finally broke me down,” he replies. </p><p>“Of course. Who wouldn’t want to be close to family when you have a baby?” Satine asks.</p><p>Rey nearly chokes on her food. </p><p>Ben clears his throat. </p><p>“Of course,” he replies. </p><p>“Ben, Rey studies Women’s Studies and Communications. Do you think Gwen could connect her or have an internship for her?”</p><p>“I’m sure.” Ben offers a faint, knowing smile. </p><p>“We need to get her a real job. She’s been babysitting, but that’s it. And we’re tired of paying for all her bills and rent, you know?”</p><p>Ben raises his eyebrow slightly and locks eyes with Rey. </p><p>“Oh, of course. Rent here is so expensive now. So babysitting?” Ben asks Rey.</p><p>Rey wants to disappear.</p><p>“Yeah,” she manages to reply. </p><p>“If you need a babysitter ever, I’m sure she comes highly recommended. She’d make the trek to the suburbs,” Satine says. </p><p>“Would you?” Ben asks. There’s a level of <em>I know what you did last summer</em> to his voice that Rey prays her parents don’t pick up on. </p><p>“I’m pretty busy right now with my current client and school,” she answers. It’s the truth. </p><p>“Is your current client...demanding?” Ben says suppressing a smirk. </p><p>“You could say that,” Rey retorts.</p><p>“Is Gwen coming, Ben? I’d love for her to talk with Rey,” Satine says. </p><p>“She is. I think her and the baby should be here soon,” he replies. </p><p>“A baby? To a shiva?” Satine’s shocked.</p><p>“She’s a goy,” Ben answers with a shrug. </p><p>“Leia Organa is probably rolling in her grave knowing her son married a goy,” Benjamin says. </p><p>“Benjamin Kenobi!” Satine scolds and swats at him.</p><p>Ben laughs and waives it off. </p><p>“It’s true. She would be. She always wanted me to marry a nice Jewish girl,” he replies.  </p><p>“That’s all I want for Rey. A nice Jewish girl or boy. I don’t care which. I’d even be fine if she got back together with her ex-girlfriend. She’s going to work at Goldman, you know? I just want to see her married,” Satine says. </p><p>“<em>Mom</em>,” Rey chides. </p><p>“Oh, hush. Can you get me another glass of water?”</p><p>“Yes. I’m going to go to the bathroom first though.” </p><p>“Hurry back,” her mother tells her. </p><p>Rey passes Baz who calls out her name and Rey waives to her but doesn’t reply. </p><p>She can’t handle that right now. </p><p>She can’t handle the influx of information from the past ten minutes. </p><p>She runs up the stairs past the rest of the mourners and finds a bathroom as quick as she can. She locks the door and falls to the floor. She refuses to cry but <em>God</em> does she want to scream. </p><p>She wonders how rude it is to leave an hour into a shiva. She wonders if she could crawl out the bathroom window and scale down the house without anyone noticing. </p><p>He has a fucking wife. And a <em>baby</em>. And every Wednesday he fucks her? And <em>pays</em> her. </p><p>What a fucking asshole. </p><p>She gets off the floor and splashes water on her face. She stares at herself in the mirror. </p><p>She looks like shit. </p><p>She fixes her make-up and then she pauses. She opens her phone and opens the messaging app she and Ben use to communicate. She stares at their messages. </p><p>And then she decides fuck it, she’s already going to hell. </p><p>And she takes off her dress and sends a picture of her in her bra to Ben. </p><p>She checks the read receipt and he’s seen it. She smiles to herself.</p><p>There’s a sharp knock on the door and she tells the person she’s almost done. She’s so frazzled putting her dress she doesn’t realize she’s left her phone in the bathroom. </p><p>When she returns with a glass of water for her mother, she sees Ben in a circle with Amilyn and a few other women. </p><p>Her eyes drill into his and he can’t help but be distracted in conversation. He excuses himself and meets her by the refreshments. </p><p>“What the hell was that?”</p><p>“You’re fucking married? With a <em>kid</em>?” Rey fumes under her breath. </p><p>“Your parents pay your rent? All your bills? What the fuck do I pay for?” Ben retorts. </p><p>“I don’t want to be beholden to them.”</p><p>“No, you just want to exploit me so you can live a comfortable lifestyle,” he replies. </p><p>“Is that so fucking bad? Mr. I Have A Secret Family.”</p><p>“It’s complicated.”</p><p>“Clearly,” she scoffs. </p><p>“I can’t believe you’re Benjamin Kenobi’s daughter.” Ben shakes his head and takes a sip of water. </p><p>“And I can’t believe you’re named after him.”</p><p>A few more people join them around the refreshment table. They shift uncomfortably and fall into silence. </p><p>Rey walks away and heads upstairs back toward the bathroom. Ben follows.</p><p>She pulls him in by his tie and locks the door. </p><p>“Rey, what are you do--“</p><p>His words get lost as Rey drops to her knees. She unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants. </p><p>“Rey, fuck. Come on. We’re at a goddamn <em>shiva</em>,” he says. </p><p>“Since when are you religious?”</p><p>“<em>Rey</em>,” he says again and then the air’s let out of the room when his phone rings. It’s loud and intrusive. </p><p>“Hi, honey,” Ben says into the phone. Rey sinks back onto her haunches and pushes away from him. </p><p>“I’m upstairs in the bathroom. I’ll be down in a moment. Try to find Satine,” he tells his wife. </p><p>He hangs up the phone. </p><p>“Gwen’s here.”</p><p>“And your baby?” Rey asks. </p><p>“And my baby.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you’re married to a shiksa who thinks it’s okay to bring a baby to a shiva.”</p><p>“I can’t believe I am either,” he admits. He buttons his pants and adjusts his belt. He extends his hand to her and pulls her up. She looks defeated as hell. She <em>feels</em> defeated as hell.</p><p>She knows he can tell. She’s just grateful he’s shown her the mercy of not saying it out loud.</p><p>“Rey?” </p><p>“Don’t say anything.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>He sighs before unlocking the door and bolting down the stairs, leaving Rey to regret her choices alone. </p><p>She creeps down the stairs and braces herself. She sees Amilyn speaking with Ben and <em>fuck</em>, that must be Gwen. And their child. She’s a tall, leggy blonde. </p><p>Of course she was. </p><p>Rey stares at them so much she doesn’t pay attention where she is. She <em>runs</em> into Bazine -- because <em>of fucking course</em>--and yelps as they collide. </p><p>Everyone turns to look at them. </p><p>She waives them off with an awkward smile. </p><p>“Hi,” Baz says. </p><p>“Hi,” Rey replies. </p><p>“So. How’s school?” Baz asks. </p><p>“It’s fine, I guess.”</p><p>“How have you been? I haven’t seen you since winter break,” Baz questions and before Rey can formulate an appropriate answer a group of Satine’s friends approach them and ask questions about their studies, job offers, love life. </p><p>Rey tries to zone out and barely responds. She <em>knows</em> they think less of her compared to Baz and it drives her crazy. </p><p>At least Baz is still single too. </p><p>Someone asks Baz details about her job offer when Rey notices Ben plant a loving kiss on Gwen’s cheek and then her lips. It’s soft and intimate. </p><p>Rey suddenly feels as if the air in the crowded house is too thick, too impossible to exist in, and she excuses herself and runs to the backyard. </p><p>She’s getting her breath under control when Baz has her hands on Rey’s shoulders. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Baz asks. Rey looks up and is taken aback at how worried Baz looks. </p><p>“Nothing. Sorry. God. It’s a long story,” Rey says as she shakes her head. </p><p>“You don’t look great,” Baz points out. </p><p>“So everyone says. Especially when they’re comparing me to you,” Rey complains. </p><p>“Rey, shut up. Are you kidding?”</p><p>“Why would I be? You have a fucking job offer from Goldman, Baz.”</p><p>“We don’t graduate for another six months. You’ll be fine. You always are.” Baz tucks Rey’s hair behind her ear and kisses her cheek. </p><p>Rey leans into her and turns her head so their lips meet. It’s soft and messy. Rey pulls away first when she gets her head on straight. </p><p>“Sorry,” she says against Baz’s forehead. </p><p>“It’s okay. I’ve missed you,” Baz reveals. </p><p>“I know,” is all Rey replies. </p><p>“We should go back inside. Someone might find us,” Baz says. </p><p>“Yeah,” Rey says and drags herself back inside. She doesn’t make it but three feet when her mom calls her over and she’s being introduced to Ben’s wife and child. </p><p>Her head spins. </p><p>She makes a fucking <em>fool</em> out of herself. She sounds contrived. She sounds like a child. She begs for a job. She oversteps and Gwen asks how Rey knows Ben. </p><p>She thinks back to her lie from earlier and repeats it. </p><p>She stumbles over every word. Intimidated as hell. </p><p>And Ben leaves her fucking hanging. He lets her flounder. </p><p>What an asshole. </p><p>Rey thinks she might not make it. Her head feels like it’s going to explode and there’s no way she can keep up this elaborate ruse for much longer. </p><p>And then she’s saved. </p><p>Sort of. </p><p>“Rey, I found your phone in the bathroom,” Baz announces. </p><p><em>Fuck</em>. Baz had absolutely seen the notifications from Ben. She knew. Rey could tell by the tone in Baz’s voice.</p><p>“Oh. Thank you,” Rey says and goes to grab it from Baz’s hand but Baz holds onto it. </p><p>Baz guides them away from the group and her eyes narrow. </p><p>“You have to tell Gwen. Did you know?” Baz interrogates. </p><p>“No, I didn’t fucking know. I found out tonight. That’s why I’m losing it.”</p><p>“He’s a fucking asshole.”</p><p>“I know,” Rey laments. </p><p>“We have to tell her her husband is a scumbag,” Baz insists.</p><p>“We can’t. We can’t. Not now. Please,” Rey begs. </p><p>“Rey,” Baz starts. </p><p>“Baz, you have everything. Let me have one secret. Let me fuck up.” </p><p>“Fine. But you should know better. You should find someone who treats you better. You deserve that at least,” Baz says as she hands Rey the phone. </p><p>“Thank you,” Rey says and she means it. And Baz knows that too. </p><p>“Ben, we should go. The baby is getting fussy,” Gwen announces. </p><p>“Sweetheart, we should stay a little longer,” Ben tells her. </p><p>Rey flinches at his use of the word sweetheart. </p><p>“Can you grab the baby bag? It’s in the other room,” Gwen asks her husband. </p><p>Ben sighs heavily and stomps off to the other room. Rey starts to follow him but she stops when she realizes <em>Gwen</em> is following her husband. </p><p>And then Rey stands by the doorway and listens to them fight. Listens to how <em>miserable</em> they sound. And she relishes in it. </p><p>And then Ben storms upstairs. </p><p>Rey doesn’t know what compels her to follow Ben up the stairs. She knows it’s reckless. Anybody could have seen her follow him. Even Gwen. But she’s a woman possessed. </p><p>And the bathroom door is unlocked. He expected her. </p><p>He kisses her deeply and pushes her against the door. She melts at his touch and his passion and she knows she’s more ruined than ever before.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says after he backs away from her. </p><p>“Okay,” Rey replies. </p><p>“That’s it...?” Ben counters, offended. </p><p>Rey shrugs. </p><p>“Ben! We need to leave!” Gwen calls from downstairs. It’s faint but they both freeze as she speaks. </p><p>Rey tries to say something but can’t. </p><p>Ben takes a deep breath in. Rey watches his chest heave. </p><p>He finally speaks.</p><p>“I guess we both lied to each other.”</p><p>“I guess we did.”</p><p>He brushes past her. His fingers trail against her forearm. </p><p>“I’ll see you next Wednesday?” Ben asks. </p><p>“Yeah, Ben. I’ll see you then.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! </p><p>some notes:</p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_(Judaism)">Shiva</a> -- mourning period after someone's death<br/><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synagogue">Shul</a> -- a synagogue, like a church<br/><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goy">Goy</a> -- a non-Jewish person</p><p> </p><p>follow me on <a>twitter</a><br/><b>some of my other works:</b><br/><i>rated E one-shots: </i><br/><a>start a big fire</a> — a CNC one shot</p><p><a>such a dream to me</a> — a somnophilia/breeding kink fic</p><p><a>the cost of business</a> — a blackmail dub con fic</p><p><a> want you next to me</a> — best friend’s sister/roommates</p><p><a>control (to get what I want)</a> — a CNC one shot</p><p><a>love me at the ungodly hour</a> — an edging/orgasm delay fic</p><p><i>rated E multi-chapter</i><br/><a> as if pain has no past</a> — canonverse, post TLJ. TROS replacement </p><p><a>in all chaos there is calculation</a> — hp AU</p></blockquote></div></div>
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